


yet the force

by Wildehack (Tyleet)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:30:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5764825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyleet/pseuds/Wildehack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from rexluscus on tumblr: </p><p> Snoke pits Rey against Kylo Ren, and his money's on Rey</p>
            </blockquote>





	yet the force

It dawns on Ben that he’s going to die.   
  
He can feel Rey’s fear, the frantic heat of it, but there’s a sticky warmth sliding down Ben’s neck, there’s something wrong with Ben’s balance, the pressure in his head leaving him strangely disconnected from his body. There’s something wrong with Ben’s _head_ , and with a burst of clarity he understands that none of his sacrifices meant a thing. He’ll never bring balance to the Force. He’ll never fulfill his destiny. Losing his family, losing his home. None of it matters, because she’s going to win. _I didn’t do it for this,_ Ben thinks, with a swell of terrible panic, stumbling away from Rey’s blade. _I would never have done it for this.  
 _  
His Master is laughing, the hologram flickering briefly. “You do well,” he’s saying to Rey, and the fact that he sounds _proud_ makes something twist horribly in Ben’s gut. “Embrace your feelings.”   
  
Rey’s face is twisted into a grimace of exertion, and her shields are so battered that Ben knows exactly what she feels: she’s afraid that Snoke is right about her, she’s afraid for her friends, afraid for her Master, afraid that Ben will kill Uncle Luke like he killed his own father. Her feelings tell her that the easiest way to end her fear is to slide her saber in between Ben’s ribs.   
  
Ben is also afraid. He can barely tell where her fear ends and his begins, but he knows he’s afraid to die, afraid of the ghosts that wait for him, afraid of having failed. He wants so badly to end his fear, but there is no easy way.   
  
 _Embrace your feelings_ , he hears again, his bruised brain proffering up useless repetition, only it’s not his Master’s voice, it’s Uncle Luke’s, a long-ago fragment of memory drifting up from the past. A meditation, Uncle Luke’s hand on his shoulder, T’iri with her eyes closed next to him, alive and whole.   
  
Rey flinches, and he knows she experienced the memory too, that his shields are as useless as hers. She still gets in under his guard with a gasp of effort, and a line of pain scores down his ribs. “You can feel it,” his Master tells her in a low, hungry voice. “The power, child. Take it.”   
  
Ben brings his lightsaber up at the last second to meet hers, and they strain together, gazes locked. Her eyes are red, her mouth trembling, her soul aching with the need to make sure her new found family is safe, to dispose of the threat. She’ll turn, Ben thinks with a dull certainty. Maybe not today, but she will.   
  
Another fragment of memory drifts to the surface, a small, meaningless scrap: his mother hugging him goodbye before a mission, one hand smoothing against his forehead. _Be brave for me, Ben_ , she said, and left.   
  
Ben shakes the memory off with a terrible effort, and Rey makes a small wounded sound. He barely manages to duck her next blow. He wonders if she’ll tell his mother that he’s sorry.    
  
“End it now,” his Master says gently, and Ben draws in one last lungful of air, closes his eyes, and powers down his lightsaber. Be brave, Ben. He lets it fall to the floor, and then lets himself fall to his knees. The killing blow never comes.   
  
Rey is panting in front of him, her eyes very wide, still shining under the light of her weapon.   
  
“End it,” his Master hisses, the hologram flickering again. “It is _over_.”   
  
Rey ignores him. She steps forward and kicks his lightsaber, sending it spinning into the dark. “Get up,” she grinds out.   
  
Ben doesn’t know if he can, dizzy with blood loss and the blow to his head, and she still feels like fear, still feels like rage.   
  
“Don’t make me carry you,” Rey says in a voice like cut glass, but suddenly she’s there, shoving her shoulder under his arm, and Ben’s struggling to his feet.   
  
His Master is saying something, hate pulsing in the air, but Rey snarls “ _Walk_ ,” into Ben’s ear, and Ben goes dumbly forward, step after agonizing step. 


End file.
